


You Wouldn't Understand

by yukiawison



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Body Swap AU, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Pining, boyf riends — Freeform, evil squip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 19:07:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11363733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiawison/pseuds/yukiawison
Summary: Jeremy and Michael get in a fight. And then everything is turned upside down...Freaky Friday style.





	You Wouldn't Understand

Michael clenched his fists again. His jaw trembled though he tried to stop it. “We have to talk about this stuff Jeremy. You can’t just shut me out.”

“I said I’m fine,” Jeremy repeated through gritted teeth, but he was pulling his t-shirt back on. It was suffocatingly hot even in Michael’s basement and Jeremy had taken off his shirt. Michael had blushed furiously (because it was Jeremy so of course he had) before noticing the shock scars along his spine. He had had them from before. Michael had watched them fade over time during trips to the pool and whenever they happened to change around each other. These scars, however, were fresh.

“That bastard’s shocking you again? Are you out of Mountain Dew Red?”

  
“No I’m…” Jeremy didn’t meet his eyes. “It’s not that bad.”

“You don’t deserve that Jer. You know that right? This isn’t some self hate bullshit again is it because I can’t…”

“I don’t want to talk about it Michael!” He spat. “Can we just play the game?” It had been a good day up until then. Maybe Michael should’ve just kept his mouth shut.

Jeremy hugged his knees and stared at the fan. He looked tired, eyes sunken and skin pale.

“Why can’t we talk about it Jeremy? If the Squip is bothering you I want to…”  
“You don’t understand Michael,” he said, shaking his head vigorously. “You just can’t understand okay? Let’s just drop it. I’m fine. Let’s play the game.”

Michael didn’t want to drop it. Everything in him was screaming that he shouldn’t drop it. But he didn’t want Jeremy to storm off by himself. If Jeremy was by himself he was weaker to the Squip and Michael didn’t want that.

“Fine,” he said tightly. “Let’s play.”

Maybe it wouldn’t be such a big deal if Michael Mell weren’t completely, 100% head over heels in love with his best friend Jeremy Heere. The crush seemed to complicate most everything.

Of course he had no intention of ever telling him. Jeremy was still getting over Christine. After they’d broken up Jeremy said he was fine, and that they were great as just friends, but Michael knew him well enough to read the disappointment in his expression. Jeremy didn’t like him the way Michael wanted him to. And that was okay. He’d get over it. He was getting over it.

Jeremy left around ten. They didn’t speak much after Jeremy’s outburst. It was awkward at first but soon they settled into the comfortable silence of friendship. Toward the end of the night they were almost back to normal: quiet banter and soft smiles occupied the (now less) sweltering basement.

“See you tomorrow,” Michael said as he left.

Jeremy managed a smile. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

***

The moment Michael woke up he knew something was wrong. First of all, the crack on his ceiling that he always fell asleep staring at was gone. Second of all, when he sat up he realized he wasn’t wearing the pajamas he went to bed in. And his hands weren’t his hands. And neither was anything else. He’d woken up in Jeremy’s room and upon stumbling into Jeremy’s bathroom he confirmed that he was also in Jeremy’s body.

“Fuck,” Michael said with Jeremy’s voice. “Fuck! I’ve lost my mind.” He pinched Jeremy’s arm and it hurt.

What are you going on about?

The sudden voice in his head nearly gave him a heart attack. It was low and annoyed in a vaguely menacing fashion. It was the Squip in Jeremy’s head.  
“This isn’t happening,” Michael said.

What is your deal Jeremy? Has the pot finally killed all your brain cells?

The Squip thought he was Jeremy. He guessed it was weak enough now to reside on the sidelines of Jeremy’s brain.

“No,” he said aloud, voice cracking in the cute way Jeremy’s always did. “I just need to call Michael.” If he was here then Jeremy must be at his house…in his body. He thought he might faint.

We talked about this Jeremy. The Squip whined. You’re not allowed to pine 24/7.  
“Pine? I’m not…he doesn’t. Shit can you stop for a second?“

We both know you’re out of Mountain Dew Red. The Squip taunted cruelly. I thought you said you deserved my help?

Jeremy had said he deserved to be berated by this asshole. Michael’s chest ached. He needed to call him. He needed to call him right now. He grabbed Jeremy’s phone, and realized with horror that he didn’t know his passcode. Dammit. He tried Jeremy’s birthday, then Christine’s birthday, before giving up he tried his own birthday. The phone unlocked. Michael flushed red.

He scrolled through Jeremy’s contacts until he found the name Player Two. “C'mon, pick up, pick up.” It went to voicemail. Michael’s heart was in his throat.

“Jeremy! Are you up? You’re going to miss the bus,” Jeremy’s dad shouted from downstairs.

This was going to be awful. This was actually going to be awful. He got dressed quickly, with his eyes closed and proceeded to brush Jeremy’s teeth and hair and put on his backpack and get on his bus which was all immensely weird. He had to find not Michael before class started. That is if Jeremy had even gotten his body to school. Worst case scenarios involving panic attacks and fear clouded his thoughts. Calm down Michael. Don’t freak out until you know you have something to freak out about. He chewed on his nails nervously until he felt a sharp shock at his, Jeremy’s he reminded himself, spine.

“What the hell?” He whispered harshly.

Don’t bite your nails Jeremy. The Squip said, amused.

So this was the kind of shit he got scars for? Michael wished, more than ever, for the Squip to be a physical person so he could beat the crap out of it. Michael stopped biting Jeremy’s nails.

When he got to school Jeremy wasn’t anywhere he usually was. He checked his locker and Jeremy’s and the picnic table outside where they sometimes hung out before class. He wasn’t anywhere. Rich was at the table.

“Hey Jer, where’s Michael? Thought you two were joined at the hip.”

“I haven’t seen him. Have you?” Michael asked, trying to keep his voice even but Jeremy’s nerves betrayed him.

Rich’s brow furrowed. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Michael squeaked. “Can you let me know if you see Jeremy…I mean Michael. I’m Jeremy, obviously. Yeah…”

Rich laughed. “Alright weirdo.”

Luckily, Michael knew Jeremy’s schedule by heart, and since he thought it might be more trouble to wander around looking for him, he headed to Jeremy’s first period English.

He managed to keep a low profile until lunch, only slipping up several times by not responding to the name Jeremy.

At lunch Jeremy wasn’t at their usual table. He pulled out Jeremy’s phone and shot him a text:

Hey Jer, I know this is super weird and you’re probably freaking out but if you’re at school you should meet me. If not I’m going to come over after and we can try to fix this Freaky Friday shit. Don’t worry. - Michael

“Jeremy!” Michael looked up to see Christine Caligula smiling at him with her lunch tray in hand. “Is Michael here? Can I sit?"

"Yeah, of course,” he croaked. Michael liked Christine. He just didn’t really know her.

“Okay bro, it’s time to dish.” She put her carton of fries between them to share and stared at him intently.

“Dish what?” He asked dumbly. He thought, for a moment, that she might be onto him. Maybe his Freaky Friday fiasco had triggered others and Christine was actually Chloe or Jenna or Jake.

“We have a deal remember? I give you all the hot gossip about the theater kids and you update me on Operation Confess Your Feelings to Michael Mell?”

“Confess my…” Michael nearly choked. “Confess my what now?”

Christine rolled her eyes. “Don’t play dumb with me. How are things regarding your huge crush on him?”

“I…um.” Michael took a long drink from his milk jug to avoid answering.

“Um…Jeremy?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m…oh shit I’m allergic to milk aren’t I?”

“Uh, huh,” Christine said. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m going to…uh, go to the bathroom. Sorry Christine.”

He darted off before he could hear her reply. He pinched himself a second time to confirm that this wasn’t all a twisted fever dream. It wasn’t. Jeremy had feelings for him? Like romantic feelings? Like maybe he reciprocated every gay thought Michael had had about him since the 8th grade? He locked a bathroom stall and stood there, thinking about it for a while. Jeremy’s hands shook when he was nervous. And when he stepped back out to look at the mirror Jeremy’s face was a splotchy red. He could do this. He just had to get through the rest of the day and find Jeremy.

By the time he made it to his house he was a sweating, trembling, mess. The Squip shocked him three more times for various nervous habits. Each time he felt more on edge, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

He pounded on his door and Jeremy, well Jeremy in his body, answered immediately.

“Michael!” Jeremy’s expressions looked different on Michael’s face. He could tell that his face didn’t normally look like that. “You are Michael right?” He asked after. “We Freaky Fridayed right?”

“Yeah,” Michael replied. “I think we did."

Jeremy grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him inside. "I’m sorry,” he said suddenly, and too loudly. “I’m so sorry Michael. I don’t know how but this is probably my fault. Oh my god has it been talking to you? Did the Squip hurt you Michael I swear to god…”

Michael? You’re not Jeremy?

“I’m fine but what about you?” He took Jeremy by the shoulders and looked him over. “You scared me when you didn’t answer my text.” He hugged him tightly to his chest and Jeremy’s shoulders relaxed.

“I guess I’m a good hugger huh?” He laughed. “You went to school as me?”

“Yeah,” Michael said.

Jeremy looked down. “I uh…kind of panicked.”

“It’s okay,” Michael said. His heart hurt. “How often does the Squip shock you?”  
Jeremy looked up at him, eyes, Michael’s eyes, watery. “Did it…?”

“How often Jer?”

“A couple times a day. Fewer when I have the Mountain Dew.”

Michael didn’t tell him that he’d been shocked four times.

“I’m sorry,” he broke down. Michael recognized the quivering that always showed up in his voice. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry this happened. I’m sorry it…”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. It’s hard. I get that now.” Michael burned with embarrassment every time he got shocked. The more it happened the more it felt like he deserved it. He understood why Jeremy didn’t want to talk about it. But he needed to.

“What else did you learn about me?” Jeremy muttered.

Michael felt light headed. They were still standing in the doorway. “I uh…well Christine said that you…um…I, Jeremy?”

“Yeah?” It was weird to look at himself and say it, but he needed to be brave.

“I’m in love with you.”

“You what?” He squeaked.

“I’m really gay for you Jeremy Heere. If we weren’t in each other’s bodies I’d ask if I could kiss you.”

“I love you too!” Jeremy shouted, then quieted again. “That was loud. But I do! I uh…Christine told you didn’t she?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I thought you were still hung up on her.”

“I’m not,” he replied.

“Cool,” Michael said, grinning.

“Cool,” Jeremy repeated.

“So…do you think we’ll wake up normal tomorrow? I feel like I’ve learned my lesson, or whatever I was supposed to.”

“I think so,” Jeremy said. “Do you wanna sleep here?”

“Sure.” He handed over his phone. “Text your dad.”

He was right. Michael woke up to Jeremy’s sleeping face. He’d drooled a little in his sleep and his eyelashes were fluttering slightly against his cheeks. Michael thought about the scars and made a mental note to order more Mountain Dew. He leaned forward and kissed him gently on the forehead. Jeremy’s eyes fluttered open. His smile was wide and dorky.

“I’m me.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Of course.”

Jeremy’s lips were soft and Michael’s pulse was quick. The kiss was gentle and sweet and perfect. Jeremy pulled back.

“I’m glad you’re you,” he whispered.

“I’m glad you’re you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! I wrote this for an anon on tumblr.


End file.
